Kimchiland tour (part 1)

24 Jun

4 months have come and gone.  It has been an interesting journey thus far and Korea always has something up it’s sleeve!

I would now like to take you on a visual tour of this crazy place!

Kimchi: Koreans eat, breathe and sleep KIMCHI!.  Kimchi is a very pungent vegetable side dish and it is eaten with absolutely everything.  Hence KIMCHILAND.  There are many different kinds of kimchi but all have one thing in common – fermented cabbage.  Kimchi is also spicy, but not as spicy as other foods in Korea.  Upon meeting new people here in Korea within in the fist 5 minutes I will be asked whether or not I like Kimchi.   When my answer is “so-so” is because it’s too spicy.  And don’t try and convince them otherwise.  The thing with Kimchi is I will eat it if it’s there.  There will never be Kimchi in my fridge!   But Kimchi is Korea, and i’ve heard that many Koreans are reluctant to travel abroad because they are scared that they will not get Kimchi in other countries.  Koreans eat Kimchi three times a day! I can’t think of anything that I eat three times a day!

Korean Bus drivers:  Bu travel in Korea is like playing Russian Roulette.  Your playing with your life.  Korean drivers in general are a bit dodge, but the bus drivers are a whole different species!  It seems to me that they have this undenying hate for all other living forms.  As if there sole purpose in life is to scare the living shit out of everybody.  Or perhaps they want people to realize how fragile life is and let them appreciate it more.  Either way Korean bus drivers are scary people and they drive fear in you!  They drive fast, switch lanes like it’s nobody’s business and will come to a sudden stop as if there is a cliff ahead.  They are very impatient and very unfriendly.  They are like bed time monsters!

No smoking:  Everywhere you go in Korea you can smell cigarette smoke.  According to me 95% of all Korean men smoke.  And they smoke everywhere.  In their cars, in bars, in some shops and restaurants.  There are very few anti-smoking guidelines in Korea.  But one thing that struck me as very odd in Kimchiland from day one was the fact you never see any woman smoke.  Since them I have observed only a handful of smoking Korean woman.  It is inappropriate for a woman to smoke in public.  This is some of the funniest and most ridiculous bullshit I have ever heard.  In all public toilets (at establishments) there are ashtrays and lighters so that the few woman that do smoke can get a quick nicotine fix!  It’s all a bit retarded I say!

Spit:  Koreans spit, men, women and children – they all spit.  They spit everywhere and anywhere.  Walking down the street you will constantly be reminded of this nauseating act of absolute disgustingness.  I don’t know if it’s in their genes or DNA that all Koreans have permanent clogged up sinuses and airways.  But the amount of snot and gob put out to the universe by these people are enough to drown a small country.  No wonder they don’t where shoes indoors!  And everybody does it.  Everywhere!  Even the kids at my school do it in the hallways.  It’s an adventure walking to class cause you never know what you gonna step in.  With all this spitting and snot-separating I wondered why the hell these people don’t just blow there noses like everybody else in the world!  Because apparently it’s considered rude to do so.  Yes it’s way better for everybody around me to dispose of germ infected bodily fluids on the street as opposed to a tissue that can be thrown away!  Of course it is!

Fan Death:  The funniest thing I have come across in Korea is a little myth that has this whole peninsula scared shitless of electric fans.  According to Koreans that if you sleep in a room with an electric fan switched on it can kill you.   All Korean fans have timers.  All fans are also sold with a warning that this is a lethal instrument and cause your death.  Apparently it can cause your death by one of two ways.  The electric fan can cause a drop in your body temperature thus causing hypothermia.  Also apparently the fan reduces the oxygen in the room leading to suffocation.  I think, they are also terrified that the fan will suck out their soul.  Korea is the only country in the world that believes in fan death.  And apparently it’s not just limited to fans.  The other when I came to school my co-teacher asked me how I was coping with the heat (Daegu is the hottest City in Korea).  I told her that I am suffering and that I slept with the aircon going (and has been going for the past three weeks).  She freaked out and told me that it was very very dangerous.   If i’m not careful I might just lose my Soul in Kimchiland.

The Ajumma:  An Ajumma is a middle-aged to elderly Korean woman.  And although refuse to believe that they are human, they are the pride of this nation.  Ajummas are scary and if you cross them I do believe they will kill you.  Perhaps they will lock you in a windowless room with a fan on.   Ajummas are very intemedating and they make you feel very very self conscious.  If there is one seat open on the bus of the subway the ajumma will find it.  If there are 100 people waiting for the bus the Ajumma will bump her way through the crowd and be the first to get on.  If there is anyone in close vicinity of an Ajumma that does not look Korea, she will stare that person down.  Ajummas are lethal.  Also an Ajumma can very easily be distinguished from any other Korean.  Apart from their very obnoxious behaviour all of them where these big ‘ol Asian visors.  There are clothed in a plethora of colors and textures that makes your eyes vomit!   Ajumma’s can also be found moving in troops.  In my opinion the Ajumma’s are Korean wildlife.  They will stop at nothing to gt their way and you (especially Waegooks) should be afraid, very afraid!!!

That’s all for now folks.  Cheers from Kimchiland!

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6 Responses to “Kimchiland tour (part 1)”

  1. Amanda June 24, 2010 at 18:26 #

    great entry darlin! made me laugh out loud! haha

  2. jackie June 25, 2010 at 08:47 #

    Hilarous!!!

  3. GRRRL TRAVELER June 25, 2010 at 11:26 #

    Awesome! Total riot & fun pix too!

  4. eugene July 30, 2010 at 02:23 #

    haha, now i am really considering whether i should really go to korea for my school exchange. haha.

    great blog, and thanks for all the insights

  5. malou August 18, 2010 at 13:45 #

    Like the graphics! Especially the bus drivers lol. Oh and don’t be fooled. There’s a lot more spitting going on in China than in Korea!!

    • christodewit August 19, 2010 at 10:58 #

      Thanx Malou, didn’t know it was humanly possible to spit more that the Koreans. Oh the marvels of East Asia!

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