war, elections, holiday – key ingredients in a Korean soufflé!

1 Jun

I am very ashamed of myself!  It has been two weeks since I’ve blogged.  Absolutely appalling!  So many things have happened here in Kimchiland the past two weeks!  For starters we crossed the three-month mark and according to all culture shock specialists we should be over the worst by now!  Well with a country as dynamic as Korea it might take forever!  The only interesting thing that happened to me over the past two weeks was the fact that I bought tickets for Thailand!  That’s right come my August leave I will be jetting off to Bangkok and Phuket!  I am meeting my parents there and I can’t wait.  Now going to Thailand has not been in my initial 6 month plan but I can say with pride that I have already paid a fourth of my study debt  since being here!  Thus Thailand seemed like an awesome idea!  Now if I had my way I would just backpack through Thailand but seeing as though the parentals will also be there, there can be no greater opportunity for a resort holiday!  Now off course there are some risks involved going to Thailand at the hight of their political tension, but the optimist in me believes that everything will be resolved in “travel-friendly” way by August.  My biggest concern is the airport.  Because if they decide to close the Airport then there goes our Holiday!!!  Did I mention my optimistic attitude!  Anyhow it was a bit of a struggle to find cheap fares and honestly I did not realise that Thailand was that far away!  I don’t know why!  We ended up getting flights on Air China and will be going through Beijing.  The layover is a bit long for such a short holiday but it was way cheaper than all the other tickets.  Oh well, I just booked our inland flights from Bangkok to Phuket today so honestly I can’t wait!!!

Also something noteworthy that occurred in Kimchiland was the confirmation that a North Korean torpedo sunk the South’s ship!  Thus twisting the North’s knickers so tight all we’ve heard these past two weeks were warcries.  Now one might think that the South is in quite a frenzy over this but apart from the complete animosity they show towards the North they couldn’t be bothered.   Now according to my absolute amazing intelligence this could be all pretend.  Let’s not act alarmed in front of the foreigner because that would destroy Korea’s image.  Or it could be that they are genuinely not scared of the North.  Kim Il Sung and his wanker of a son Kim Jong Il have threatened the South and with it the rest of the world so many times that no one cares any more!  But and unfortunately there is a but, the torpedo attack on South Korea is the biggest one from North Korea since the Armistice of the Korean War in 1953.  See, no peace treaty was ever signed so technically the two Korea’s are still at war.  And it is a war that the North fights with guns and torpedos.  The South retaliated by cutting off all trade and aid between the two nations.  This will hit the already impoverished and famine ridden North hard!  I seriously don’t know what is going to happen but all i can say is that if North Korea decides to wage a full fledged war on the South it will not bode well for me.  In times like these I think it is important to be prepared at least.  Now being an expat one would rely on ones embassy to provide the necessary precautions.  Well think again!  Although the US embassy is all geared up with evacuation plans and stuff the retarded South African embassy has got no such plan in  place.  Now the last time I checked we were almost 2000 Saffa’s in Korea, so you would think that an embassy in  a country that is regarded as enemy no 1 to one of the world’s greatest nuclear powers will have some sort of emergency plan in place.  But I kid you not,  It doesn’t exist.  I sent three emails to the South African embassy in Seoul – no reply.  On the South Africans in Korea Facebook page another enlglish teacher wrote that she actually phoned the embassy but they informed her that they have no emergency plan in place and it MIGHT be finalised by the end of this week.  She went so far as to contact the department of Foreign Affairs in Pretoria and they informed her that there is nothing that our government can do in a situation like this.  So there is one of two options: 1.  Go home and wait until the tension has passed or 2.  Wait in Korea and see what happens.  Retarded right!!!!!  Okay, apparently there is one or other bilateral agreement between the Us government and the SA government that in the case of an emergency like say North Korea nuking the shit out of the South, America is supposed to help us.  But reality check you limbos sitting in Pretoria, in a case of War the Americans will first try to save their own citizens and then the Canadians and by the time they can help us it will be too late.   I thus had to come up with an evacuation plan of my own if a war is to break out.  All my documents are ready to grab in a strategic place.  My suitcase is empty so I can dump as many things in as quick as possible.  Now if no transport to Busan is available I will have to steal a car.  I will then drive to the closest port.  Somewhere between Pohang and Busan.  Then I will steal a boat or bribe someone with a boat to take me to Japan.  Seeing that I need a Visa for Japan I will try to enter on refugee status.  I think it’s important to be prepared!  Although I doubt my plan will ever be played out!

Now tomorrow is a public holiday (thank goodness) because everybody hs to go and vote for the local government (although almost no one does).  It has been a long wait for tomorrow, not only because I love a day off work, but also because the frigging campaigning has to stop!  Political campaigning in South Korea is one of the craziest things I ever witnessed in my life.  It’s quite stupendous.  Small Hyundai trucks are covered in banners with the specific candidates face on and obviously making one or other promise that will be too good to be true.  On the back of these little trucks are usually 3 – 6 korean woman wearing little white gloves and sash’s and just looking retarded!  they wave and bow and do stupid dances to all the people and cars they pass.  Now bear in mind it’s not just one or two of these trucks.  It’s one or two every minute.  Everywhere.  Blogs have been filled these past two weeks with how annoying they were!  I mean if anything I will just go and vote to make them stop!  It’s retarded!  The first time I heard it it crossed my mind for a split second that North Korea is invading.  Because upon hearing the annoying music bursting out on giant speakers everyone runs to close their windows!  Very effective way to make people take cover.  Anyhow come tomorrow and the annoying music will stop!

And well that’s it for now.  All I can say is in times of war and elections the only thing to do is book a holiday!

Cheers from Kimchiland!!!

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